I have been thinking a lot this week about the unique personalities of each of our kids and what God designed them for. James turns six months tomorrow and as I was looking back over Haylie's 6 month photos and accomplishments I realized how different the two really are. The book I just finished (Cure for the Common Life) had a chapter called "Decode Your Kids Code." In it Max Lucado stressed, "Don't see your child as a blank slate awaiting your pen, but as a written book awaiting your study." He quoted C.S. Lewis saying, "In every child God places in our arms, there is a bent, a set of characteristics already established. The bent is fixed and determined before he / she is given over to our care...And the parents who want to train this child correctly will discover that bent." I often watch my kids and enjoy their little personalities but I have really been studying them lately to find God's gifts planted in them. Here is what I have discovered so far:
Raider - Raider is brave. He is bold enough to talk to just about anyone and doesn't spend a lot of time being concerned about what others think. Raider is GREAT with little kids. It's like an energy spark ignites in him when he gets a bunch of little kids together. He instantly starts coordinating games and making sure everyone is playing nice. He can't help himself but get involved and get the fun going. Raider also gravitates towards any type of project. He loves to build things and create things. Show him a piece of wood and he will get all sorts of ideas about what he could make out of it. And my favorite - Raider is an outstanding helper. He sticks around after practice and picks up for the coach. He jumps at the opportunity to help Grandma and Grandpa clean out the cabin every year and even when I am in the midst of getting mad at him for something, he is still getting Haylie into her carseat, or getting her juice or picking up and comforting a fussy James. Perhaps some day he will be a youth leader or a teacher. He says he wants to be an architect because he is good at Math and Science - I can't wait to find out.
Haylie - Haylie is very organized by nature (way more so than me). She cannot leave a drawer if there is something sticking out of it, or walk away from a room without closing the door; she loves to organize things, lining up all her princesses, doing puzzles, spending hours matching all the cards in her Memory games. Even more than organizing, she loves people and activity. She ALWAYS wants to go bye bye - anywhere and everywhere she can go. When we do go somewhere she wants to know who we are going to see. If it isn't someone she knows, she is satisfied as long as we will see "people." She LOVES to see "people." When she plays with other kids she is content to just be with them, doing whatever they do. She ADORES her cousin Kiley; she is so affectionate with her and would spend all day following Kiley from activity to activity if she could. I tend to get concerned because I want her to be a leader, but that is not her bent. She is happy to just be there and participate.
James - James is much more quiet and calm than Haylie was. At his age Haylie could not stop squealing, she was fascinated by everything and overwhelmed with expression about it. Whereas James is mellow about pretty much everything. He just hangs out, happy to lay on his back and hit himself in the face with his pacifier for 20 minutes. It will be so interesting to watch him as continues to develop his own personality.
Reading this chapter has really helped me realize the importance of encouraging those natural strengths in my children. It is so easy to squash their true potential by not paying attention - sometimes I get frustrated when Raider stays late after practice because I am sitting in the car waiting, whereas I should be recognizing him for being so considerate. The other day we went to a store where they had one of those toys on a table where you move the colored balls across the wire from one side to the other. We were in a hurry but Haylie could not leave the store without getting all of the balls together on one side. I was rushing her and at one point demanded, "Lets go." She stood there paralyzed in thought, she really wanted to follow directions but could not pull herself away. Realizing her dilemma I helped her move all of the balls to one side and we left, with Haylie thoroughly satisfied.
2 comments:
I love that Max Lucado quote... "Don't see your child as a blank slate awaiting your pen, but as a written book awaiting your study." Such great advice! I'm going to write that down to remember.
sandy~ this is a great post and something i will need to remember when your boy is born and his personality shows itself. I too hope that I will be able to nurture his natural talents and “bent.”
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